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Author Topic: [WCFL] CZW FAKE YOU TV 06/13/98
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Fake You TV opens with the former ECW announcer, turned corporate stooge Lance Wright walking the streets of Smyrna, Delaware at night.


“Hello once again. It is of course your pleasure to see that I, Lance Wright, have moved from the cesspool that was Extreme Championship Wrestling… to a more lucrative position within the very Network that is airing this program. I am here to give warning to those who run this company. For months, you’ve been allowed to run virtually whatever you wanted, but the buck stops here.”

He is forced to pause, as the distant sound of sirens interrupts the proceedings. “You see, thanks to a mixture of raunchy… violent… lude… and to be perfectly honest, barely legal content… combined with ABSOLUTELY dismal numbers, the Network is starting to reconsider this… partnership. Now as for me… I am on your side. I want this company to thrive. I want this company to reach that next level. So thanks to me, Lance Wright… Fake You TV will not be preempted by a pulse ponding episode of COPS!”

Another pause, this time for Wright to pat himself on the back. “Let it be known though… I can only do so much. If this company continues to defy the Network… I have been instructed to pull the plug for good. Now please, enjoy tonight’s broadcast… or what’s left of it…”

Combat Zone Wrestling present Fake You TV
Wednesday, June 13, 1998 @ Midnight

Eric Gargiulo is shown standing backstage, welcoming the viewing audience to Fake You TV. Gargiulo says that on tonight’s program we will find out who will be challenging the team of Justice Pain and Mikey Whipwreck for the CZW Tag Team Titles at the Ultraviolent Freedom of Expression on July 7th, when the Usual Suspects take on Eddie Valentine and Jon Dahmer. Gargiulo mentions that there must be a definitive winner this time.


“Yeah that’s right! Finally the time has come for the Suicide King Christian York to step into the Combat Zone! It’s Do or Die time, and as you will soon learn… I’m not afraid of dying!”

York gets ready for his pose, when a door opens behind him and Angel of Da Bullies walks into view, looking for something.


“Yo, papa… you’ve seen Frank?”

“Cut! Cut!” calls out a voice behind the camera. Angel doesn’t seem to care that he ruined a shot though, as he turns to York and asks if he has seen Frank. York annoyingly tells Angel that he doesn’t know where Frank is. Sensing some attitude, Angel warns York to check himself before he knocks the crap out of him. Not willing to back down from a fight, York clocks Angel with a sucker punch! Fists start to fly, when the door opens again and Vito LoGrasso emerges with a trashcan in hand. He smashes York in the back! Angel now mounts York and pummels him with a barrage of closed fists! DeVito gives York a few stomps, before all three Bullies regroup.

DeVito gives a warning, “Oh yeah, brother! Let this be a warning to all of you who think you can step up to Da Bullies. You can’t! We back down from no one! And Pat Tanaka, that includes you and you’re little wannabe group up in Philly. You may call yourselves Da Bullies… but until you’ve come face to face with DeVito!”

Angel: “Angel!”

Vito LoGrasso: “And The Skull!”

Tony DeVito: “Then you ain’t no Bully, got that?”

Da Bullies walk away, leaving York struggling to get back up.


We return from the commercial break with Little Guido sitting on the shoulders of Big Sal E Graziano as he makes his way to the ring. Cut back to Eric Gargiulo, who says that the following match was taped over the weekend and comes to us courtesy of a small Indy promotion, Jersey All Pro Wrestling, based out of Bayonne, New Jersey.

1) Little Guido w/ Big Sal E Graziano vs. Judas Young

The punk rocker from Iselin, New Jersey has the fans full support, as he ends up surprising Guido with a flurry of arm drags and a spinning head scissors that sends Guido retreating to the floor for a breather. Young gets the crowd to start banging their head, and now he comes off the ropes. Suicide Dive wipes Little Guido out! After rolling Guido back into the ring, Young heads to the top turnbuckle. Before he takes flight, Big Sal climbs up on the apron. Young has a decision to make. Does he take down Big Sal or go for broke with a high flying move on Little Guido? The momentary pause is enough time for Guido to rush up to the top turnbuckle and slam Young down to the mat with a Fujiwara Armbar! With Young recovering, Guido goes to the middle rope and executes the Sicilian Slice for a two count! Young tries to mount a desperate comeback, but with his right arm in no condition to fight, Guido ultimately synchs in the Kiss of Death for the 1… 2… 3!


The match is over, as Big Sal lumbers his way into the ring. After Mike Kehner raises Guido’s hand in victory, the Sicilian Shooter demands that he does it again. The fans respond with a chant of “Where’s My Pizza?” The hot blooded Italian doesn’t appreciate it, as he pulls away from Kehner, and starts yelling at the fans to shut their mouths. With his temper almost boiling over, Guido grabs Big Sal by his shirt and pulls him down to his level so that he could bark out orders to hurt Judas Young. Still knocked out on the mat, Young is dragged over to the nearest corner. Big Sal then climbs up to the middle turnbuckle and…

Mike Quackenbush rushes out from the back and drags Young out of the ring! The Italians are livid now, as Quack helps Young get back up. “Young’s a lucky man, Gargiulo. He should be sleeping with the fishes, if not for Mike Quackenbush sticking his nose where it doesn’t belong.” comments Matty.

LATE BREAKING NEWS: Rockin Rebel Attacked Backstage With a Fireball.

The video feed suddenly cuts to a chaotic scene in the locker room. Nick Berk, Johnny Kashmere, and several staff members are hurdled over someone clutching his head and screaming in agony. Berk yells at one of the staffers, “Go get help!”

One staffer exits the room, while another hands Berk a wet towel. Berk places it over the persons head, indicating that their face has been burnt. The cameraman tries to get a close up shot of the victim to confirm his identity. Berk spins the cameraman around, “What the hell is wrong with you? Can’t you see Rebel needs help? You know what… get out of here. Get!”

Berk forces the cameraman out of the locker room and slams the door shut. The camera pans over to the side and spots a red haired Mikey Whipwreck sitting underneath a table. A light chuckle turns to full blown maniacal laughter, as Mikey flips the table and shoots a fireball into the air, nearly singeing the cameraman.


Mikey’s uncontrollable laughter fills the hallway, as the scene cuts to a commercial break.

(Writer’s Note: Due to the horrific murder suicide incident recently, I could not, in good conscience, continue using Rebel any longer, hence the abrupt departure.)


We return with the shot opening up to an empty stairway. Moments later, EZ Money and Trent Acid start walking down the stairs. Acid’s picking off pieces of glider, bickering to himself about getting pinned once again by the Christopher Street Connection. EZ Money stops Acid halfway down the stairs, takes the lollipop from his mouth and hands it over to his partner.

EZ Money explains, “Look bro… I know you’re mad. I’m mad too. Hey, I know what will cheer you up. Why don’t we get outta here and hit up the Strip Club?”

Acid picks a piece of glider out of his hair, “Alright. You gonna be working tonight?”

With a sly smirk, EZ Money responds, “You know it bro! Gotta pay the bills somehow.”

A jovial Trent Acid says, “Cool! I’ll go get my singles!”

Acid hands EZ Money back his lollipop and books it down the stairs. EZ Money has an unsure expression on his face, before simply shrugging his shoulders and placing the lollipop back in his mouth.

2) Tony DeVito w/ Da Bullies vs. Christian York

The shot cuts back to footage from the JAPW show a few weeks ago, as DeVito and Da Bullies make their way to the ring. DeVito climbs on one turnbuckle, Angel the other, and Vito LoGrasso stands in the middle of them. We will return following the break.


We come back from the break with Christian York taking out DeVito and Angel with a Pescado to kick start the match!

The match more resembles a Street Fight, as York and DeVito exchange blows around the ringside area. York’s in control during the early moments of the fight, until he briefly turns his attention to Angel. This leaves him wide open for a running dive off the ring apron from DeVito! Vito LoGrasso and Angel take turns pummeling York on the outside, while DeVito catches a breather in the ring. Angel tells Vito to hold York, while he pulls a chair out from the first row. Angel swings and misses! York quickly climbs the chain linked fence surrounding the building. Moonsault Press takes out Angel! Are you kidding me? Back in the ring, an oblivious DeVito stands around, jaw jacking with the fans. York now returns to the ring apron. Springboard Missile Dropkick connects!

A quick cut, and now York heads back to the floor and pulls a table from under the ring. As he sets it up, DeVito tries to blindside him with a wild right hand. It’s blocked! York decks DeVito and he falls on top of the table. York steps out to the ring apron again. He’s standing on the top turnbuckle, sticks the figure gun to the side of his head, and pulls the trigger! Suicide Elbow Drop misses the mark and York crashes through the table! DeVito gingerly places his arm on top of a clearly unconscious York. 1… 2… 3!


Angel and Vito LoGrasso climb into the ring and help a groggy DeVito back to a vertical base. Da Bullies once again show that there is strength in numbers, but what will happen when Pat Tanaka and company decide to take them up on their offer and face them in the Combat Zone?


Coming back from the break, Jon Dahmer and Eddie Valentine make their way to the ring. Eric Gargiulo talks about the last meeting between these two teams and how the match had ended with Monsta Mack pinning Jon Dahmer, while at the same time Eddie Valentine pinned Louie Ramos. It is because of that, that the stipulations now dictate that there must be a decisive winner. The Usual Suspects now emerge from the back with Ramos carrying a trashcan full of goodies to the ring. Gargiulo says that both teams seem to have the support of the fans, which is not an easy thing to do, considering that their fan base is the hardest crowd in wrestling to please.

3) MUST BE A WINNER – The Usual Suspects vs. Eddie Valentine & Jon Dahmer

Match gets underway with all four combatants squaring off. The Ramos and Valentine fight eventually spills out to the floor, neither one giving up an inch. Back in the ring, Monsta Mack has Dahmer on his last legs, following a barrage of forearm strikes. Mack goes for the Compton Lariat, only to have Dahmer duck under, and now he drills Mack into the mat with a mammoth Belly to Back Suplex! From there, Dahmer stays on top of Mack, utilizing a series of power moves in the process. A release German Suplex sees Mack escape to the floor in order to halt the onslaught. Meanwhile, Ramos continues to brawl with Valentine around the Firehouse. Ramos slams Valentine into the wall! He picks up a chair and forces Valentine to wear it around his neck!

After dragging Valentine around for a while, Ramos brings him back to the ring. He then reenters with a trashcan and catches Dahmer between the eyes! Ramos has his way with both men until the trashcan is dented up to the point where it’s useless. Dahmer and Valentine are now backed to the ropes, as Ramos comes charging in. Double Back Body Drop sends Ramos soaring over the top rope! On the way down, he clips a table! Dahmer and Valentine take the fight back to the floor, with Valentine setting up some chairs while Dahmer kept Ramos busy. Ramos is in trouble, as Dahmer and Valentine suplex him into a group of chairs!

During the closing moments of the match, Valentine has Mack sitting on the top turnbuckle. Mack fights back with several right hands, and now Valentine staggers away from the turnbuckles. Mack leaps off the middle rope and takes Valentine down with the biggest Hurracanrana ever seen! He follows up with a big time Power Bomb, and now Ramos comes off the top with a sloppy Frog Splash! He has the legs hooked… 1… 2… 3!



The moment the previous match ends, the show cuts to a hallway where Dewey Donovan and Justice Pain are in the middle of a heated argument. The vocal point of said argument is centered on Mikey Whipwreck, with Pain demanding that Donovan do something about Mikey and the fact that he still has to team with him. As they continue to bicker, Matty in the House approaches.

“HEY, MATTY IN THE HOUSE HERE! We are in the back of the Smyrna Firehouse with my boy, Justice Pain… and if ya think things were crazy, wild and mad before, wait until we get the Ultraviolent Freedom of Expression and watch the Usual Suspects clash with Justice Pain and Mikey Whipwreck…”

Pain tells Matty to shut up, shoving him to the side. “Look, I don’t care how you do it… I’m not teaming with that little psychopath. You better get something done, or you can kiss this meal ticket goodbye.”

Donovan is at a loss for words. Knowing that all of that hard work he put into this could be undone, Donovan reassures Pain that he will find him a new tag team partner before July 7th. Suddenly Fat Frank pops up and informs Donovan that the contract cannot be altered, Justice Pain will have to team up with Mikey Whipwreck on July 7th, like it or not.

Franks pats Justice Pain on the shoulder. “So good luck with that one, champ.”

The show comes to a close with Pain looking on in disbelieve.

[ 06-13-2018, 01:56 PM: Message edited by: abundant ]

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Think it's way too early into this czw to start doing a network gimmick....


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Loved The Bullies call out. Guido getting the pizza chant was priceless. What is Justice Pain going to d? I'll be reading to see.


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Grape Ape
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Them's fighting words!
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Commish from California
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I’ll wait and see about the Network stuff. I get why Us against Them is important for promotions like ECW and CZW, but establishing US first is very important.
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