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» WrestlingClassics.com Message Board » Professional Wrestling & General Discussion '99-June '07 » You know you are at a bad wrestling show revisited

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Author Topic: You know you are at a bad wrestling show revisited
Long Legged Mackdaddy El Topo
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http://wrestlingclassics.com/.ubb/ultimatebb.php?ubb=get_topic;f=5;t=003151

104. You see the booker paying the boys in food stamps.

105. The promoters 8 year old son does an angle where he pins the top heel

106. The ring ropes break. The show continues with the workers pretending to run the ropes.

107. The main event features Bobby Piper versus Craig Valentine, with Jamie Snuka vs. Bill Backlund in the semi-final.

108. The masked wrestlers are all wearing dollar store ski masks

109. The concession area is actually a garage sale.

110. The ring girl is 11 years old.

111. The ring girl is 71 years old.

112. Beer is only 25 cents, but for some reason the line is empty.

113. The ring is made of mattresses.

114. They announce its a TV taping, and the cameraman is a 7 year old kid drawing in a flip book

115. They open the show with a battle royale featuring all of tonights workers, and only 4 show up

116. A spoon and frying pan is used for the timekeepers bell

117. The promoter announces Sid Vicious will be on the next card

118. The ring announcer is bigger than any of the wrestlers

119. The wrestlers juice by drawing red magic marker all over their foreheads

120. Its an outdoor show at a truck stop

121. They sell tank tops saying "I'm with Stupid" at the tee-shirt stand

122. The steel cage is lower than the ring ropes.

123. Because there aren't enough wrestlers on the show, audience members are asked to volunteer as lumberjacks

124. The show is outdrawn by your little brothers backyard promotion

125. The two babyface tag team is interviewed. One of them says that this promotion is the place to be. The other one interrupts and says, "Well, not really . . . "

126. There's more wrestlers booked than there are fans

127. The promoter hires the local Pee Wee football team for security

128. The turnbuckles are actually pillows

129. The promotion has a website . . . on Geocities

130. Halfway through the show, the local police chief steps into the ring and asks if anyone has seen the promoter

131. The Doctor at Ringside is wearing a mask.

132. You buy a ticket for "Floor Seating", and when you show up you realize there are no chairs

133. The ring is so low you can see everyone's shoes on the other side

134. You see the promoter taking the timekeepers hammer to a piggy bank

135. They turn the house lights down for the "lights out" match, and they don't go back on

136. There's a wedding reception going on in the next room over

137. First prize in the raffle is five minutes alone in the back seat of a car with the promoter's 17 year old daughter

138. Second prize is five minutes alone with the promoter.

139. The ring announcer announces that the promotions next show will be held from Graterford State Prison.

140. You wife recognizes the ringside doctor as her gynecologist.

141. The promotions champion bags groceries at the local Piggly Wiggly.

142. The main eventer juices from the needletracks on his arm.

143. They feature a womens wrestling match and the women are bigger then the men

144. The tag team champions have to share a belt

145. The ring announcer uses a rolled up newspaper as a megaphone

146. The ring announcer is a stutterer

147. You have to wait until the next show to get the $5 photograph with your favorite wrestler developed

148. One of the heels uses brass knuckles, then throws them back to his mother sitting at ringside

149. The two main eventers have such big beer bellies that they can't lock up

150. You demand a refund, and are directed to a guy named "Vito" in a dark alley behind the arena

151. The poster advertising the show lists the venue as "Parts Unknown"

152. Instead of signing his name, a wrestler writes "PLEASE HELP US" on his photo

153. The timekeeper at the bell keeps hitting his watch and cursing

154. One of the wrestlers stops the match to accept a cell phone call and completes a drug deal

155. A fan yells "You guys suck!" to one of the heels. The heel yells back "I agree!"

156. An old lady asks you to kindly vacate your set so they can set up bingo tables- halfway through the second match

157. The Doctor at Ringside is seated next to the food stand

158. The ticket offers a free lap dance with admission

159. Police barrier tape surrounds the entrance as you arrive at the arena

160. The wrestlers start yawning during the match

[ 12-31-2004, 02:55 PM: Message edited by: El Topo ]

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"[Topo's alleged trolling] . . . . might work better if he were even slightly clever or funny."-loadedglove

Not even "AMERICA'S MAYOR" is safe from the wrath of this week's WORLD'S WORST AMERICAN selection! Click here to find out why!

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Long Legged Mackdaddy El Topo
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161. You call the promotions telephone hotline, and get solicited to purchase phone sex

162. Fans are asked to make a donations to help the promoter buy back his repossessed car

163. The 50/50 raffle first prize is for tickets to the next show. Second prize is tickets for the next two shows.

164. The midget wrestlers are bigger than the heavyweight champion

165. The Doctor at Ringside's last name is "Mengele"

166. The ring crew starts tearing down the ring during intermission

167. The wrestlers have to sing their own ring entrance music

168. The wrestlers boots say "Payless" on them

169. The referee ignores the match and starts hitting on women in the first row

170. The heels encourage fans to throw food at them. They collect the food, put it in plastic bags, and take it the dressing room

[ 12-31-2004, 03:05 PM: Message edited by: El Topo ]

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"[Topo's alleged trolling] . . . . might work better if he were even slightly clever or funny."-loadedglove

Not even "AMERICA'S MAYOR" is safe from the wrath of this week's WORLD'S WORST AMERICAN selection! Click here to find out why!

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Bob Magee
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quote:
Originally posted by El Topo:
http://wrestlingclassics.com/.ubb/ultimatebb.php?ubb=get_topic;f=5;t=003151

105. The promoters 8 year old son does an angle where he pins the top heel


Oh, I don't know...Steve Corino's kid is more over than a lot of the WWE roster.

Nice kid, too. :0)

Plus if it's been played for comedy as their situations apparently were....

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ehrjr from L.I.,N.Y.
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171)Paul Heyman is writing checks to pay the talent.

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Ernie

"A Kayfabe Memory is a Terrible Thing to Waste."

Thanks for the memories, 'Naitch.

Forget it,Bret. Lou, Don & Nick are the best-you were never even close.

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MIDNIGHT RAIDER
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quote:
Originally posted by El Topo:
http://wrestlingclassics.com/.ubb/ultimatebb.php?ubb=get_topic;f=5;t=003151

158. The ticket offers a free lap dance with admission


Is this really a bad thing? [Big Grin]
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BigEarl
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The saddest thing is I have been on shows where these have happened

104. You see the booker paying the boys in food stamps.

105. The promoters 8 year old son does an angle where he pins the top heel

109. The concession area is actually a garage sale.

110. The ring girl is 11 years old.

111. The ring girl is 71 years old.

115. They open the show with a battle royale featuring all of tonights workers, and only 4 show up

116. A spoon and frying pan is used for the timekeepers bell

118. The ring announcer is bigger than any of the wrestlers

120. Its an outdoor show at a truck stop

122. The steel cage is lower than the ring ropes.

123. Because there aren't enough wrestlers on the show, audience members are asked to volunteer as lumberjacks

126. There's more wrestlers booked than there are fans

129. The promotion has a website . . . on Geocities

130. Halfway through the show, the local police chief steps into the ring and asks if anyone has seen the promoter

132. You buy a ticket for "Floor Seating", and when you show up you realize there are no chairs

133. The ring is so low you can see everyone's shoes on the other side

136. There's a wedding reception going on in the next room over

140. You wife recognizes the ringside doctor as her gynecologist.

143. They feature a womens wrestling match and the women are bigger then the men

144. The tag team champions have to share a belt

146. The ring announcer is a stutterer

148. One of the heels uses brass knuckles, then throws them back to his mother sitting at ringside

149. The two main eventers have such big beer bellies that they can't lock up

157. The Doctor at Ringside is seated next to the food stand

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JHawk
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118. The ring announcer is bigger than any of the wrestlers

Some of those ring announcers are big boys.

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"Wrestling fans watching a wrestling program want to see wrestlers wrestle!" -Jim Cornette

Don't miss Smart Mark Radio, Sunday nights at 6pm Eastern/3pm Pacific at www.blogtalkradio.com/smartmarkradio

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JWLPromoter from FL
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quote:
Originally posted by BigEarl:
The saddest thing is I have been on shows where these have happened.

That is depressing. I can't imagine any of these "promotions" have lasted more than one show. Where were they and are the so-called "promoters" in jail or have they spent time there?

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Christian Däubler
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This is hilarious, where are the first 103? The link on top of the page is broken.

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actionsub
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quote:
Originally posted by El Topo:
http://wrestlingclassics.com/.ubb/ultimatebb.php?ubb=get_topic;f=5;t=003151


130. Halfway through the show, the local police chief steps into the ring and asks if anyone has seen the promoter


At one of the St Louis area indy promotions, the promoter IS the police chief in one of the suburbs; he owns the town's "civic center" (the town has 800 people); he's the county 911 commissioner...yeah it happens.
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1bruiser
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quote:
Originally posted by JHawk:
118. The ring announcer is bigger than any of the wrestlers

Some of those ring announcers are big boys.

In Louisville, one of the ring announcers was larger than most of the boys. He was 6'5" and weighed around 250 lbs. He was also a DJ on a Top 40 station and would talk about the matches from time to time. He once talked about how he was talked into wrestling a bear at a fair. He said he didn't realize what strength and power were until the bear got his paws on him. He also came across as someone you didn't want to **** off, and I never heard of any of the boys giving him a hard time, as they had other ring announcers.
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MoneyDragon
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When the champion lets his gut overlap his replicia belt

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