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Author Topic: beer makes you smarter
GBM2002
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This actually came in from Dusty Wolfe who is still out on a beer run.

A herd of buffalo can move only as fast as the slowest buffalo. When the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular culling of the weakest memebers. In much the same way the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine.
That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers.


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james beard
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I been tryin' to figger that out all my life....
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james beard
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And who says this here forum ain't ed-ju-ka-tun....
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Crimson Mask I
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Must a been them weaker brain cells what said such.

See what Wisdom I just did? Provin' this theory.

Viva la cerveza from the Sunshine State!

[This message has been edited by Crimson Mask I (edited 03-09-2002).]


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Crimson Mask I
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Viva el dinero also.
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dw
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and ken had everybody thinking i'm brain dead.
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Rhiannon
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You ain't brain dead, Dusty, I can vouch for that. You might be dain bramaged, but who ain't, these days?
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dw
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i just realized. this needs further research this evening.
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Crimson Mask I
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Hmph. Your TRUE profeshunnul research cypherer would not let a l'il thang like the sun bein' out delay him.
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Rhiannon
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Tellin' ya. The effects of beer on one's brain cells are ALWAYS worth researchin'. Pass me a cold one, Dusty. Or two or three.
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Half of the Dynamic Duo
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beer makes you smarter

I've spent the better part of my college trying to prove this theory


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GBM2002
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Despite what others may think of Dusty Wolfe,I have never ever thought that he was brain dead. In fact ,anyone who has done the things that he has done,and still lives to tell about it,is educated beyound his intelligence.But as a non-inbiber,I can honestly say that if he had not on occassion been under the influence he probably would not have survived some of his world renouned true stories. Besides,he tells me that all of his girlfriends do look better after a few.
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dw
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right about now, i'm a friggin' genius.
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dw
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and getting smarter by the ounce.
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Rhiannon
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Well, heck, baybuh, share the smarts! I done told ya to pass me a cold 'un up yonder, didncha see?
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Rhiannon
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I see Dusty has become so intellectually enlightened that his brain could not process it quickly enough, and he has fainted from the effort. I'll just have to relieve him of the rest of these beverages here...
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Crimson Mask I
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Waal how about that, an' just when my Wisdom war in need of Stimulatin'.
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Rhiannon
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*tosses CM one a Dusty's brewskis, whatever brand they may be*

Pull up a beanbag, shugah, and help me dee-molish thisyere alkyhol stash.


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Crimson Mask I
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Best offer I done had in a while. Thanky' kindly, do b'leev I will.
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Rhiannon
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All righty then... a toast, to... the great states of Texas and Florida and the Wisdomly people what are produced from them places.

Nhaow dhen... clink, wink, and drink!


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Crimson Mask I
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Don' mind if I do.

*glug*

An' here's to this here beanbag, such as is a mite snug for two folks, ain't it?


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Rhiannon
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It is indeed. I b'leeve we can make do, bein' full of Wisdom as we is. You comfy thar?
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Crimson Mask I
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Waal, scooch over... no no, closer not further. Thar we go.
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Rhiannon
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Hm.

Cold beer, comfy beanbag, snuggly Tom Wopat-ish gent...

FADE TO BLACK


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Rhiannon
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*blink blink*

Hm, these beanbags shore kin be comfy.

Oh oh, the stuffin's comin' out over on this side over here. Hm, bought this thang brand new... such poor quality these thangs are these days. Only one night of use and it's already busted.

Welp, only one thang to do.

*wriggles out of grip of Tom Wopat-ish gent*

*heads to Comfort Food to fix breakfast for him & whosoever else's around*


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Crimson Mask I
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*reaches out*

*touches nothin'*

*wakes up*

Hmmmm.

Waal lessee if the boys an' girls have done bagged any more snipe. Them omelettes yesterday shore war fine.


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dw
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i resent the implication i passed out. an experienced beer converseur always knows when to shut things down and conserve the protons for the next day. there are 2 days in a weekend, last time i looked.
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Rhiannon
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Aw, Dusty, don't me pree-turbed with me. If you're mad at me, our next lunch date's gonna be REALLY awkward. Plus, I seem to be your second in this here greased-pole duel, so we're gonna have to make up and be nice here.
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GBM2002
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quote:
Originally posted by dw:
i resent the implication i passed out. an experienced beer converseur always knows when to shut things down and conserve the protons for the next day. there are 2 days in a weekend, last time i looked.

I have to agree with Dusty here, ain't never in the past (uh) so many years we've been knowing each other, never, ever seen him passed out from drinking beer.


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GBM2002
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But, I have seen him pass-out when I tagged him in. And there was this one time I thought he was gonna pass out when I accidently hit him with the "Doink killer".And there was one time when someone in the car broke wind and the windows were rolled up,then there was once when........
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GBM2002
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But I ain't never seen him pass out from drinking beer, nope not never.
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dw
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right about now, i'm as smart as a man can get. woo wooo woooo
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GBM2002
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Now after gaining all this information on the merits of beer drinking, can you imagine how smart I could really get if I drank beer?
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