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Author Topic: CM the voice of Wisdom
Rhiannon
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quote:
Originally posted by Crimson Mask I:
There are, however, techniques which affect the nature of their utterances.

...excuse me while I head over to the Southwest Airlines website.


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Crimson Mask I
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And here you see, boys, the Fruits of Wisdom.

And, um... excuse me...

WHOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*ahem*

Until Miz Rhi's flight arrives, I will answer more wimmen questions. Hey, rube.


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Ta-Kargol, Lord Of The Volcano
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OK, from another thread:

If a supermodel walks across a field of wheat, will the grains scream?


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GBM2002
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Oh great possesser of such wisdom,I am humbled in your presence.I have a question of terrible importance.I am quiet sure that this question will require much of your mental and phyiscal powers.I will apologize in advance for having caused you such stress.But,please indulge me as I have search the world over to fined a wiseman such as yourself. In this world there is only one ,You CM,are that man. And now before I ask this question,allow me to thank you in advance,as I know you will give me the true answer.Now the question,Is it true that wimmen cause bald spots on top of mens heads? Dusty has a rather large one.
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Crimson Mask I
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quote:
Originally posted by kargol:
OK, from another thread:

If a supermodel walks across a field of wheat, will the grains scream?


See here now. Did I not already say 'enough of this dang horticulture and such'?


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Crimson Mask I
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quote:
Originally posted by Crimson Mask I:
Why shore. For an example, your yellow rose, such as y'all have in Texas, would symbolize your loving friendship thar, whilst your red rose would symbolize your romantic love. Thanky'verymuch.

Enough of this dang horticulture and such. Next question?



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JKeane
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If a box of chocolate is a nice gesture, wouldn't one of those five pound Nestle's Crunch Bars be much better?
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Crimson Mask I
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Dang it, Keane, stop interruptin' my locomotive of cogitation. Where was I... ? Oh yeah.

quote:
... Enough of this dang horticulture and such. Next question?

See? Just as I thought. This here question would be better directed to the 4-H Club or the Future Farmers Of American.

Howsomever, I find that I awaken this morning with such a surplus of Wisdom that I will answer it anyway:

The answer is no, the grains feel no pain when the supermodel walks acrost the wheatfield and as such will not scream, as your standard supermodel weighs less than your standard ferret or aardvark or other such critters who routinely walk acrost wheatfields. Wheat is your hardy grain anyway.

However, if a supermodel walks acrost your living room floor and uses your computer, you WILL scream, as you, when she is done, will find White-Out all over your monitor screen.

In either case, the tree goes 'moo'.

Please ax your questions on the appropriate website next time. Thanky'verymuch.

Nhaow dhen. WHAT has the Grand Bump Mastah come up with here...

[This message has been edited by Crimson Mask I (edited 03-02-2002).]


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Legend-Killer from TX
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quote:
Originally posted by Rhiannon:

[b]Ex-cuuuuse you?
Are you saying I'm not "serious competition"???

Please explain, oh dear Legend-Killer. The Diva-who-is-well-versed-in-Bar-Fu awaits. Answer carefully, as you need to demonstrate whether these wisdom lessons from CM have fallen on deaf ears.

[/B]


That was not what I meant at all. I was having a little fun with the wise old ancient one. You are completely worthy and may I offer my humble apology for any miscommunication. And I would like to offer my credit limit at the Ak-bar to you. Your drinks are on me.

HUMBLE IN THE LONE STAR STATE


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Crimson Mask I
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Somebody brang a puppy in here? Thought I just heard whimpering or such. Oh well, don't matter...

quote:
Originally posted by GBM2002:
Oh great possesser of such wisdom,I am humbled in your presence.I have a question of terrible importance.I am quiet sure that this question will require much of your mental and phyiscal powers.I will apologize in advance for having caused you such stress.But,please indulge me as I have search the world over to fined a wiseman such as yourself. In this world there is only one ,You CM,are that man. And now before I ask this question,allow me to thank you in advance,as I know you will give me the true answer.Now the question,Is it true that wimmen cause bald spots on top of mens heads? Dusty has a rather large one.

See, I am so replete with Wisdom this morning that I have the answer right here already.

No, wimmen do not cause bald spots on the tops of men's heads.

However, their fingers, or a headboard, might.

You yourself are so replete with Wisdom and Experience that I am sure the ways of these things are already clear to you.

Thanky'verymuch, O Grand Bump Mastah.

Now let us proceed with the cohootin' and enlightenin'.

[This message has been edited by Crimson Mask I (edited 03-02-2002).]


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Crimson Mask I
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quote:
Originally posted by JKeane:
If a box of chocolate is a nice gesture, wouldn't one of those five pound Nestle's Crunch Bars be much better?

No. Style, dang it, counts. Thanky'verymuch. Try to do better next time.


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Crimson Mask I
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Okay, now WHAT war that whimpering noise... ?

quote:
Originally posted by Legend-Killer:
That was not what I meant at all. I was having a little fun with the wise old ancient one. You are completely worthy and may I offer my humble apology for any miscommunication. And I would like to offer my credit limit at the Ak-bar to you. Your drinks are on me.

HUMBLE IN THE LONE STAR STATE


Why L-K has made a remarkable recovery from his Alzheimer's. You need howsoever to consult young 'Bob', if he is still at all coherent, as he has apparently caught the Alzheimer's from you before your remarkable recovery, about your algebra and such. Only almost 29 is not neither 'old' nor 'ancient', let alone both. Miz Rhi, order me an extra straw.

Nhaow dhen, brang on the questions. The tree goes 'moo'. Right here, inside this tent, Wisdom like you never saw, buddy, step right up...

[This message has been edited by Crimson Mask I (edited 03-02-2002).]


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Mayatt
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quote:
Originally posted by Crimson Mask I:
Nhaow dhen, brang on the questions. The tree goes 'moo'.

Questions, yes. Where is this tree, and *why* does it go 'moo'? Why not 'quack'? Or 'PTTTHHHHHBBBBRRRTTT!'?


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Rhiannon
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quote:
Originally posted by Legend-Killer:
That was not what I meant at all. I was having a little fun with the wise old ancient one. You are completely worthy and may I offer my humble apology for any miscommunication. And I would like to offer my credit limit at the Ak-bar to you. Your drinks are on me.

HUMBLE IN THE LONE STAR STATE


...weeeeell.... all right. Apology accepted. I mean, bein' as I'm in such a good mood and all, now that I'm no longer under the iron fist of government work, and for that I must celebrate. Plus, L-K, you have explained yourself and offered an apology in a right appropriate Texan-man way, so how could I *not* accept?

Now jest give that barkeep your credit card and tell 'im to hand me the keys to the liquor storage... I'll be good and done when I'm a-ready. Might even let you have a sip or two.


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Rhiannon
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quote:
Originally posted by Crimson Mask I:
Style, dang it, counts.



Yes, it does, whether the wimmen TELL you that or not.


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JKeane
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Any particular style?
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Crimson Mask I
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quote:
Originally posted by Mayatt:
Questions, yes. Where is this tree, and *why* does it go 'moo'? Why not 'quack'? Or 'PTTTHHHHHBBBBRRRTTT!'?

Dang it, Matty, you are all irrelevant here like 'Bob', and not axin' wimmen questions, which you in particular should be axin', although I suspect this is acause you don't even know what the questions are yet. Howsoever, HERE is the answer to YOUR question, as full of irrelevance as it might be:

http://wrestlingclassics.com/.ubb/Forum15/HTML/000034.html


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Crimson Mask I
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quote:
Originally posted by Rhiannon:

Yes, it does, whether the wimmen TELL you that or not.

But I, having drunk from the River Of Life Wisdom, know this, and Miz Rhi has just confirmed it for y'all here. Step right ahead there, fellas, Wisdom, such as will enrich what you are pleased to call your life, and Little Egypt doin' the Mystical Dance Of The Pharoahs, right inside.


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Crimson Mask I
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quote:
Originally posted by JKeane:
Any particular style?

Well here is a tip here, one which is wise and full of wisdom:

Go with the box of chocolates.

And do NOT eat half of 'em first, and then try to explain usin' 'I was hongry'.

Next?


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Rhiannon
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quote:
Originally posted by Crimson Mask I:
Well here is a tip here, one which is wise and full of wisdom:

Go with the box of chocolates.

And do NOT eat half of 'em first, and then try to explain usin' 'I was hongry'.

Next?



And also do not try and attempt a feeble "Forrest Gump" impersonation if you have et half of said chockies, as that would be what we call, in technical terms, a 'bad idea'.


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JKeane
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Well, I haven't been in the "field" in a few years, but a bottle of tequila and a Coltrane record used to work much better than chocolate!
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Crimson Mask I
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And that, you see, is because of this here algebra and such:

bottle of tequila + Trane = style

See how fast he has learned. The rest of y'all should take this Lesson Of Wisdom and you may soon cohoot also. The tree goes 'moo'. Next question?

[This message has been edited by Crimson Mask I (edited 03-02-2002).]


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Rhiannon
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quote:
Originally posted by JKeane:
Well, I haven't been in the "field" in a few years, but a bottle of tequila and a Coltrane record used to work much better than chocolate!

See, JKeane, that's because you dated wimmen who was my doppelgangers. Tequila and Coltrane work MUCH better on my ilk.


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Crimson Mask I
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See?
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JKeane
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Mrs. JKeane is gigglin' over that one!
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JKeane
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BUT! She adds that while it's not guaranteed by CM, she also likes Corona & lime.
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markfordibiase
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quote:
Originally posted by JKeane:
BUT! She adds that while it's not guaranteed by CM, she also likes Corona & lime.

Uh, CM?

*tapping foot* in the DiBiase state of mind.......


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JKeane
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I knew you'd like that!
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markfordibiase
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I have a question for his excellency the wimmen-master himself mister CM.

I know the old proverb say's it is better to live on the rooftop than with a nagging wife and while the rooftop is outta the question I was just wonderin mister CM what your suggestion for dealing with a nagging wommen may be? MFD


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Ta-Kargol, Lord Of The Volcano
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quote:
Originally posted by Crimson Mask I:
See here now. Did I not already say 'enough of this dang horticulture and such'?


Is this not agriculture rather than horticulture? Or is is counted in 'as such' on the eiusdem generis rule?

In other words, are we talking biologically or aesthetically?

In 'Eumenides', Aeschylus has Athene state that a woman is like a field, where a man plants his seed, so I think this counts.

Oh, you answered it. Ignore me.


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GBM2002
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quote:
Originally posted by Crimson Mask I:
And that, you see, is because of this here algebra and such:

bottle of tequila + Trane = style

See how fast he has learned. The rest of y'all should take this Lesson Of Wisdom and you may soon cohoot also. The tree goes 'moo'. Next question?

CM, wise one and so full of knowledge who is so willing to share with the wonderful people of this concerned board, do we need to get Triple HHH in here to cyper this phenomenon and complete these equations?

[This message has been edited by Crimson Mask I (edited 03-02-2002).]



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Crimson Mask I
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quote:
Originally posted by JKeane:
BUT! She adds that while it's not guaranteed by CM, she also likes Corona & lime.

*glub glub glub*

*HEE HAW*

*whssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss*


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Crimson Mask I
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quote:
Originally posted by markfordibiase:
I have a question for his excellency the wimmen-master himself mister CM.

I know the old proverb say's it is better to live on the rooftop than with a nagging wife and while the rooftop is outta the question I was just wonderin mister CM what your suggestion for dealing with a nagging wommen may be? MFD


Why, it would be to first and foremost seek the cause of this nagging to which you allude. If for your hypothetical-type hypothesis, it might could be that it war behaviors of the male spouse human, such as hypothetically speakin', oh, say, becomin' incarcerated... or say cohootin', debauchin' an' knobhoppin' with unauthorized female humans of the MUCH YOUNGER persuasion... or hypothetically obsessin' even to the point of gender-bendin' lustin' to debauch, knobhop and cohoot with one's fave-rite rassler...

... why then, one should refer to my suggestion to Ghost about target practice.

O this Wisdom. Thanky'verymuch. On to the next.


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Crimson Mask I
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quote:
Originally posted by kargol:
Is this not agriculture rather than horticulture? Or is is counted in 'as such' on the eiusdem generis rule?

In other words, are we talking biologically or aesthetically?

In 'Eumenides', Aeschylus has Athene state that a woman is like a field, where a man plants his seed, so I think this counts.

Oh, you answered it. Ignore me.


Next.


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Crimson Mask I
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quote:
Originally posted by GBM2002:
CM, wise one and so full of knowledge who is so willing to share with the wonderful people of this concerned board, do we need to get Triple HHH in here to cyper this phenomenon and complete these equations?

Naw, as firstly: young 'Bob' has caught the dreaded brain-ravaging Alzheimer's and I ain't sure he can cypher how many asses a cat has no more; and b, them equations are complete as they are.


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JKeane
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CM...who was the most worthless...Davy Jones or Tracy on "The Partridge Family"?
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Crimson Mask I
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See here, you have Learned The Lesson Of Style, but evidentially it has druv all other intelligence out of what you are pleased to call your brain. This here is not a wimmen question. Write you a letter to the editor of 16 Magazine, if such still exists. Next question? Wisdom and cootch dancin', right inside. Step on up, rubes.
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JKeane
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markfordibiase
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quote:
Originally posted by Crimson Mask I:
Why, it would be to first and foremost seek the cause of this nagging to which you allude. If for your hypothetical-type hypothesis, it might could be that it war behaviors of the male spouse human, such as hypothetically speakin', oh, say, becomin' incarcerated... or say cohootin', debauchin' an' knobhoppin' with unauthorized female humans of the MUCH YOUNGER persuasion... or hypothetically obsessin' even to the point of gender-bendin' lustin' to debauch, knobhop and cohoot with one's fave-rite rassler...

... why then, one should refer to my suggestion to Ghost about target practice.

O this Wisdom. Thanky'verymuch. On to the next.



Sorry I asked.


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You're welcome. Next?
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